Behind butterfly's eyes

2011-04-08T22:48:00.008+08:00

This is for you

생일 축하

You are really something huh?

Caught me off guard

Then reel me towards you

And then break my heart into a million pieces

No one but you huh?

I may have asked that you should be removed from my heart

But gosh it's surely painful and difficult

No matter what I keep coming back to you

Not that I cant forget about you

I kinda refuse to

That slight feeling of fantasy and dream

Sigh

I am nothing to you but just another girl that liked you

Nothing more but a mere friend

I cant be compared to those girls

Never ever

Am I right?

(I really dont care much now...I can spam as much as I want coz no one reads my blog so WHAT?!)

I have stumbled on another playboy who just doesnt know that he is one

You said that I am considered a close friend but where am I now?

At home

Honestly, we have indeed drifted apart

I know that it's a dangerous question but I only asked them coz I really want to know

Where do we stand

Where do I stand

I guess I am still not satisfied

You told me before to be honest right?

Honestly I still like you

And I realised that I have never said it directly to you

You just guessed it

ARGH!

I guess we all really wearing a mask of our own

And I have to fake being a friend

A guy's friend

Listening to you telling me about your crush

I cant tell if you are just making me jealous or what

You never seem to ever sound like you are telling the truth

It's all a game

'Teardrops on my guitar'

-asjkdkshfh-

G.L.U.E.

2011-03-22T22:06:00.002+08:00

I can't believe I'm saying this

When I first wrote this I cried after that

Take it away

Remove it

Remove him from my heart

2011-03-16T23:19:00.001+08:00

Take the lead

Dancing
One of the many things that I love
Since I was a little girl
I would be dancing around
Loving ever moment of it
Especially dancing in front of people
My daddy used to dance with me
Letting me stand on his feet
And faking waltz all around the room
One of the best things to do as a kid
But I could only enjoy so little of it
That sometimes I wonder
If my daddy ever did do that
Dancing allows me to be free
Free as a bird
Maybe that's why
When I am before God
Stressed out and heavy hearted
He would take my hands
And invite me to dance with him
Like how my daddy would
My heavenly daddy knows me
Knows what destresses me
That's how much He loves me
That's how He comforts me
That's how He tell me
To let go and let him
Let Him take the lead

2010-12-10T22:16:00.003+08:00

What has become of me
I feel so dirty
I do not deserve to be
Who others see me as

What has become of me
I feel so degraded
I do not like this
What I have become

I do not like this feeling
Being stuck in this
Like a stick in a mud
Someone help me please

I have failed you
You blessed me with so much
But I misused them
I ran away with them

Will you welcome me
With opened arms
Like the father of the prodigal son
Running towards him

Will you embrace me
This filthy me
All covered in mud
Will you be disgusted

I need you
I need you to hold me
I am falling
Hundred feet high

You said to me
I will hold on to you
In fact I have always
I have always been here

Do not be afraid
For I am here with you

I will remember
All those that you have given to me

So once again,

G - Glorifying You
L - Loving You alone
U - Uplifting praises unto You
E - Everlasting & living God

-You ran-

G.L.U.E.

2010-05-12T21:36:00.003+08:00

Will you wait for me?
I am still growing
I have yet to reach that stage
I need more time

My daddy said that I'm still a little girl
And little girls should not be out there yet

Will you wait for me?
Even if it has to take forever?
Will you?
I hope that you do

The ultimate test is this
How much can you take?
When you say yes,
That's when the timer starts

I don't know when it will stop
And when exactly my daddy will give the green light

Will you take the challenge?

Are you ready?

I challenge you

-timer-

G.L.U.E.

2010-03-27T16:17:00.004+08:00

Back at home
Returning soon
I dread going back
I dread a lot of things

I am tired

I have forgotten how you look like

I want to miss
But I wonder how

Is it over
Will it ever happen
I thought it will

Dreams
Do they come true
Do they only touch others
Not people like me

Time
Flies away so quickly

I tell myself
It's alright, it's ok
Some song

Drown in kpop
It's going over and over again
Just another craze

It's time isn't it
Step on another platform
Here we go again

-future-

G.L.U.E.

2010-03-07T20:21:00.003+08:00

Since no one reads my blog...I shall spam til my heart's content! :D

When I thought that all was well
I was wrong
Surely as they say
All good things must come to an end
Just like that song
It's ringing in my head

This is just so frustrating
I'm really close to tears
Maybe after this I will
Cry to my heart's content
I often wondered
Why such things happen to me
And only me
But maybe I am wrong
Maybe somewhere out there
Someone is in the same situation as me

Is there anything wrong with me
Maybe I stink
But the real truth is that
I am down right weird
But I know that I am special
To you and only you

Is this the end
Why is it so
I don't want it to be
What happen
I want to know
Before I eat my heart out
If you smell blood
Then I think that's the end

I want to run into your arms
Because that's where I am safe
I know I will never get hurt
If I stay there
Why is everyone so mean
Is this suppose to be it
I thought that we are friends
I don't believe that we aren't anymore

This is just too fast
I have yet to take a breath
I don't want this to end
I am so tired
I need you
I desperately need you
Please I beg you
Do not let go

Why do I feel like trash
I know that I'm not
I am the bin
Who collects stories and stuff
From all around me
But my bin is empty
No one wants me

There's really none
But you alone
Even when I am left there
Sitting alone
You never failed to sit with me
Even when I don't see you
You are there
Always and forever
For me

-right now-

G.L.U.E.

2010-01-20T14:20:00.001+08:00

Lord grant me strength

-fatigue-

G.L.U.E.

2010-01-11T23:11:00.002+08:00

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - 8
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together,
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek; and a tome to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Indeed, there is a time for everything.

I am a slow learner. Physically, mentally and spritually.I may be a Christian from the time I knew how to talk til now but I may not know or understand a lot of things yet.

Today, God made me realised something that He wanted me to understand for a very long time. Something that I refuse to admit to and something that I refuse to be categorized under.

However, God made me to the point that I have been identified as a particular group by even my own friends to make me realised what He had planned for me.

When God intended something for you; planned something in your life, you can never, NEVER escape from it. Things are just as they are. Why are they so? Because He intended it to be like that. We may not know why but He surely has had His reasons.

Going back to the verses mention above, it reminded me of how I got to come to Singapore. In the human sense, it was something that was completely not planned but to God, He had already planned it way before I came to this world. Somehow, the God that I know, is very cool and loves to surprise me. He sure loves to surprise his ah girl. :)

I may not know His purpose then but I sure do now.

My Heavenly Daddy has taught me a lot. And I know that He will continue to teach me.

He knows me. He knows me.

Thank you LORD!

Indeed, there is a time for everything.

-make a joyful noise to Him-

G.L.U.E.

2010-01-07T15:23:00.003+08:00

Happie new year...the first week of school

Continue to see me through ya?

Psalm 23

Strength from you alone

Things dont look so good

I feel weaker

I need you

I need your drug

You alone

Are my power source

None but you

To trust in you alone

I will continue to smile

For you

Alone

-strength-

G.L.U.E.

2009-12-31T01:28:00.003+08:00

many moons have passed
now no longer but more than ever

i'm now in another chapter of my life
i'm right in between teens and adults
sighs

to tell you the truth
i didnt really enjoyed myself
i was actually kinda depressed
you know it
you saw me
i was crying

i wish i may
i wish i might
hear from you always

when no one is here
you are here with me

when no one listens to me
you listen to all that i say

no one hears me except you

i want to be immensely in love with you :)

"...let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your face is lovely."
-Song of Songs 2:14-

-Koe Wo Kikasete... ^^-

G.L.U.E.

2009-11-04T12:14:00.003+08:00

Right now in class....

YUPzzz....school started le...

Like 3 weeks ago...

Saddening...

Having Clinical Trial Management....CTM....

Sighs...

Looking around for a new skin...

Loving Big Bang's new jap single..."Let me hear your voice"

Very nice... ^^

Hoping that PARK JAEBEOM will miraculously somehow go back to join JYPE and 2pm...

Miss him lots... T.T

Miss the boys lots... TT.TT

Wondering why no one is uploading IRIS episodes on mysoju...

I wanna watch...

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I FORGOT!

GOT BIG, MEGA BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CFERS SUPRISED ME WITH A GUITAR AS A GIFT TO CELEBRATE MY BAPTISM!!!!!!!

I got it 2 weeks ago... ^^

Loving my baby...

He sounds so sharp and clear! ^^

:D

FYP is kinda slow...

Hoping that we can end well and fast! :P

Well...that's all for now...

Need to return to the lesson :P

bye...

-^^-

G.L.U.E.

2009-09-11T01:18:00.003+08:00

Hey...

I know that no one reads my blog but it doesn't matter. I myself don't come here often. Not as often as I visit youtube. [^.^]

Loads had happen...from ending my 2nd last sem to being crazy over k-pop. Really crazy. I'm like stalking these people except on the mild version of real stalking. [This is crazy]

I'm now not only crazy about DBSK [that crazy had died a little...really sorry DBSK oppas] but I'm also officially head-over-heels for Super Junior, 2pm, 2am, Big Bang, 2ne1, etc. [There's no end to k-pop world].

I'm not only happy but sad at the same time.

It's really scary and sad to see how netizen puts people down [to the core]. Look at what they did to the precious leader of 2pm. It's really sad to see Jaebeom go. I do really really [x millions and billions] that he will come back and stronger. [sighs]

More saddening news here: my FYP is the no go. We are still stuck at the process of constructing the survey. No matter how we do it, our supervisors sure have loads to comment. I am very scared. What if we don't have enough time to carry out the implementation? I am really scared to the point that I think that we might even fail. I hope and pray that we don't. I wanna do well [who doesn't]

Finally some good news: I'm getting baptise!!!! I am finally taking this step after so many years of procrastinating. Water baptism is a commandment and our obedience to God. Jesus stated in Mark 1:9 to go into the nations and make disciples and baptize in water, all who would follow Him. It's a declaration of a believer [Christian] of his/her faithfulness to Christ; a public demonstration of faith. My baptism will be at East Coast on Hari Raya. lol...when people go visiting I go for baptism. :P

Aside from that, my mom, sis, and aunties will be coming over soon. Like on this coming wed! Raya hols plus they are coming for my baptism. [^.^]

JEM [Jehanne, Edah & Millison] are in China right now. Leaving me behind in Singapore. [T.T] When I go back home, they are in Sg. When I'm in Sg, they have to be away. For 6 weeks. Thanks to them, I'll have to find people who wants to watch movies with me. Movies that JEMM want to watch. Eg : Time Traveller's Wife [just went to watch just now with CC & Meita...very nice!!! even CC said so...Meita didn't really like it...she is just weird...XP],and Fame [very cool Broadway show that is making a 2nd comeback on the big screen]. Miss y'all lots...hope that y'all are coping well there with the crazy amount of work y'all got. <3 JEMM

Is there anything else? Hmm....oh ya...

CF Combine Camp is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This time it's called United Camp! It's a combine mega event for both English & Chinese ministry for all polys! Mega cool! I can't wait.

There will also be pre-camp activities but I can't join them. Sads. [T.T]

OKies...I think that's about it. :)

Byeiez...it's 1.46am now. :P

-emotions-

G.L.U.E.

2009-08-20T17:53:00.000+08:00

Anger and hatred
I am a volcano always ready to erupt
Lord would you be my snow storm
To calm me down
Freezing and numbing this character of mine
Grant me peace that flows from within
Help me think before I act
Lord I know that things will not always turn out just ok
There are things that one can never correct
And even get hit back
Thank you for always protecting me
And helping me when I need it
There are lots of things that I regret doing and saying
No one can turn back time
Lord do help me
Change and mold me
I do want to be a better person
Anger and hatred
I don’t want no more

-burden-

G.L.U.E.

2009-07-20T21:48:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ZOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[edah this is all your fault!]
[but i dont care!]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[y'all must be wondering whats wrong with this gal... -.-!]
[no worries I havent gone all bonkers......................yet ;p]

DBSK!!! XP

That's what I'm screaming about [silent scream]...

HAHA...Edah rubbed some of her interest in them on me and now I'm hooked... :P

They are one of the reasons that I'm super distracted... but I still got do my work k! :P

AHHHHHHHH!!!

-crazy 'bout U-know Yunho-

G.L.U.E.

2009-06-24T23:25:00.002+08:00

She’s looking out of her window
Snowflakes are falling
And she remembered then

Little footsteps; one by one
As she twirls round and round
With him catching her

Oh how I wanted
To be like her
Oh how I wished
To be there
No limits beyond compare
No spacing between them
And yes those were stories from long ago

***
something random...
wrote this song
imagining things...ha ha
then I realised that I can never write good 2nd verses...

never sounded as good as the first

oh ya...and why do I sound so different in recording? hmmm....

-la la la-

G.L.U.E.

2009-06-20T23:55:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you LORD!!!! :D

I just cannot contain this crazy excitement!

FYP is a drag and kinda sian doing it....lots to do

Anyways, I was like thinking over the things to do and SUDDENLY!

I had this dunno-come-from-where-surge of excitement and joy!

And i just wanna jump up and down shout and scream!!!!

Thank you Lord!

Just feel super charged right now.

I just felt that God gave me this spirit of joy and enthusiasm.

As well as asking me not to be so down cast and just press on

I then just decided to pass this joy on to my groupmates. :D

I pray that they will also be excited and press on in this FYP.

It's still a long way to go but it's not so long either. HAHA....

:):):):):):):)

-can't contain it-

G.L.U.E.

2009-06-01T22:42:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!...hehehe

I got on the train just now and was standing in front of this guy...not so bad looking...thought that he was just some normal working guy...

He was playing and answering his messages...I was studying for wed's paper...

The super cute and funny thing he did was to copy me...

He suddenly took out his notes...and I took a peep...it was something on accountancy...ooo

So hmmm....maybe he's taking night class for all we know...

He was half studying and half sleeping lo...ha ha...

And guess what? He got of the same station as me...hehehe :D *grins*

But didnt notice which direction he went...sads...

I know I know...I like some stalker lo...hehe...

No la....just finding it rather interesting...:)

***

Today was my last day at Worship Dynamics II; my guitar lesson...

sads...

I wanna continue but it's expensive plus I dont have that much time anymore...

***

That's all...for now...

*back to studying...drinking ice ovaltine :p*

-sianz-

G.L.U.E.

2009-05-21T12:54:00.002+08:00

*BEEPS*

I'm back....

Damn full sia...

Oh ya...I got a new phone...Sony Erisson W705....

And have been listening to the songs that they gave...[1000songs]

One of them are....[actually this one I download this :P]

Dream by Miley Cyrus

Do me a favor
Tell me what you think about me.
Tell me how you want this to be.
Go out on a limb and just,
Dream.

Paint a picture.
Choose your colors extra wise,
Especially what you put on my mind.
Imagine what it’d be like to touch the sky.
(Yeah hee yeah!)

Whoa, your thoughts are gonna pick me up.
Do you know,
It’s good to feel too much.

Whoa, you got my head in the clouds.
Whoa, you got me thinking out loud.
The more you dream about me,
The more that I believe,
That nothing’s ever out of reach.
So dream, dream, dream.

I breathe your visions.
They pull me through the coldest of nights.
They steer me towards that moment in time,
When you show me what it means for you to be mine.
(Yeah hee yeah.)

Whoa, you’re giving me the will to try.
Do you know,
That there’s happy in these lives

Whoa, you got my head in the clouds.
Whoa, you got me thinking out loud.
The more you dream about me,
The more that I believe,
That nothing’s ever out of reach.
So dream, dream, dream.

Ha, it’s like my birthday,
Every time you look at me.
It’s like the best thing,
Every time that you,
Dream.
(Yeah hee yeah, yeah, yeah!)

Whoa, your thoughts are gonna pick me up.
Do you know,
It’s good to feel too much.
(Much!)

Whoa, you got my head in the clouds.
Whoa, you got me thinking out loud.
The more you dream about me,
The more that I believe,
That nothing’s ever out of reach.
So dream, dream, dream.
Dream!
The more you dream about me,
The more that I believe,
That nothing’s ever out of reach.
So dream, dream, dream.
Dream.

***

I disagree at one part of it..."It's good to feel too much"
If you feel too much then you'll think too much and you'll end up going nuts...and things may go out of hand.

***

:)

-dream-

G.L.U.E.

2009-05-21T11:23:00.003+08:00

Ha ha...I know my blog is damn dead! :P

Sorry la...it often slip my mind to even update so someone please remind me to.

I'm now in class - PP- Retail Merchandising

[I got something to say one ok...just that I keep forgetting what i wanted to say]

(Edah: Not true can. TSK. Backspace machine!! xD)

*I think my blog has become a chatbox...chatblog...lol...*

Anyways...

*interrupted by her (Edah: Blog Messenger *BEAMS)

....-.-....

(Edah: o.O *PUTS OUT TONGUE)

(woohoo!!!!!!!! - JYAN!)

Sighs....

Anyways, ya...it's my final year in NP (Edah: Very old already, MUAHAHAH.) like you not...hehe.... (ya wat.. we one year younger than you! - JYAN) (Edah: I 13 years younger, heh heh. ^^ ) As if...

Sian...

Now break time...will be back! :D

~bye

-Blog Messenger closed-

2009-04-26T17:17:00.002+08:00

i am damn sad...

I lost my mp3 and ezlink card sia...

damn sian

anyone wanna buy me another?

:P

2009-04-15T01:54:00.001+08:00

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today

***Don Moen

***

He always has a way
I know that He does
:)

***

My God is so BIG!
So strong and so mighty
There's nothing my God cannot do
For you!

:)

-endless answers-

G.L.U.E.

2009-04-07T15:40:00.001+08:00

oh how I love walking in the rain!

what more I stayed in the rain for a couple of hours!

:)

-drip drop-

G.L.U.E.

2009-04-03T16:44:00.002+08:00

.........

I'm back home but sian...
I wake up everyday at 5:45am ok! no holiday

On sats I have to wake up even earlier! -.-
My beauty sleep

I slept at 3am yesterday though...hehe...
Watching Little Nyonya
On an empty, growling stomach
Fasting
For today's blood test...

All my sat morning have been taken away.
All except next week's
I have been waking up early to go to the cemetery

I wanna sleep
I still havent go shopping or anything much yet

Oh ya..

I got 3.6 for my GPA! Thank you God!

:D

-lala land-

G.L.U.E.

2009-02-12T16:46:00.002+08:00

SOMEONE ( I DONT KNOW WHO ) BROKE INTO MY PLACE AND TOOK MY BOOTS!!!
AS WELL AS A MOUSE!
MY BOOTS!!!!
ARGH!!!!

*i just realised it not so long ago...i wonder when did it happen....
*cries*

2009-02-09T00:34:00.002+08:00

I was drowning
and I asked for help
but no one came
den two forms came
one with a huge large hand
and the other with many

I didnt think twice
I reached out to the many
and avoided the huge one

wen I reached the surface
and was able to breath
but the many arms kept on pulling me
I asked of them to let go
that I'm ok now
but they didnt listen
they continued

I screamed and cried for help
the harder they pull
the louder I screamed

in the end
I am left with nothing
but pieces on
the surface of the water
like pieces frm an exploded balloon

I am broken
I am torn
I am naked

I could hear laughter all around
and I am drowned in the pool of voices
telling me to give in

among the voices
was a little still voice
which I ignored all along
I tried to listen
but the others drowned that voice out

I plead and plead
"oh please help me"
forgive me
for I didnt trust
myself and you
now I am left with nothing

dreams punctured
coz I didnt trust
despite it all

when I cry out to you
when I ask for forgiveness
you forgive me
and despite all my fears and unworthiness
you forgave me
despite all those time when I forgot
you remembered

I know and understand
that within blessings
there are still corruptions
errors entangled inside
things that I have to figure out on my own
but through it all
you stood there waiting
for me to ask for help

thank you

:)

-beyond and always-

G.L.U.E.

2009-02-02T10:12:00.004+08:00

'This is what you get'....

This is something that I got for reading Raffy's blog... :P

How To Go About Doing this Quiz?
1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

Nah...

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Complicated by Avril Lavigne
So not ok rite? lol...

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Reminisce by Blazin' Squad
The memories that we shared...awwww....

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Rockstar by Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana
YES!!!!! I am a rockstar!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Always by Hillsong United
Always praise God! :)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I cant take my eyes off of you - The cast of High School Musical 3
I think I have to go and wash my eyes now

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
決戰鬥室 - Decisive battle room by Pan Wei Bo
?!!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Piece of me by Britney Spears
A piece of me is in my mummy!! :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Like a rose by A1
The good points of a rose?

WHAT IS 2+2?
Where the love last forever by Hillsong United
Dont think of Maths! Keep worshiping!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Breathless by The Corrs
I am taken a back by my best friends! :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Everyday by The cast of High School Musical 2
I think of him everyday...? I dont think I have any...

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
S.O.S. by The Jonas Brothers
Ha ha...true...someone save me from my workload

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
God of ages by Hillsong Live
Umm....??? To continue worshipping God.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
One step at a time by Jordin Sparks
Take things slowly...

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Home by Chris Daughtry
That means my presence is always there despite the fact that I'm not?

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
白日夢 (Day dream) by Pan Wei Bo
Wah...day dream til when sia...

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
轉機 (Turning point) by Pan Wei Bo
But how to turn back? Die already le...

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
If we were a movie by Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana
To make a movie? More like always wishing that my life was like a movie.... :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Leave it all to me by Miranda Cosgrove & Drake Bell
Cannot la....too much workload already!

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
How to deal by Frankie J
I hate decision-making!

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Inconsolable by The backstreets boys
So I will die when I am inconsolable? lol...

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Push to the limit by Corbin Bleu
That I didnt push myself enough...

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Take a breath by The Jonas Brothers
*breaths in*

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
This is the life by Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana
Huh? So my life very sad ar? Cries...

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
This is my story by New Life Worship
Umm...let's see if God planned anything for me

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Just so you know by Jeese McCartney
Just so you know...find out yourself!

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
I learned from you by Billy Ray Cyrus & Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana
I learn from who? So? No one like me right?

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Like Whoa by Aly & Aj
Whoa...go back in time!

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
All good things by Nelly Furtado
Huh?????? Sure or not????

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
That's what you get by Paramore
HAHAHAHA....

-mega dotz-

G.L.U.E.

2009-01-29T22:35:00.002+08:00

Everything has its time
Time will not wait
It just keep going
Trampling everyone benneth it

Oh how I hate you
Destroying the cells
Within the walls of our lives
How I wish the pendelum would just quit

I wanna run
Far far away
But you catch me
And lock me up

I am chained to the ground
Following the rest of them
I scream and kick
Everyone is too so no one cares

What does it all mean
I am so tired
Can I just let go
Like in the fairy tales

This is reality
And time is chasing us
No one can wait for you
Often left behind

I am hit by waves
It hurts a lot
There's so much to do
But I cannot run away

This is so frustrating
Can I go
Please I beg of you
Mr Time Keeper

Everything has its time
Somehow we just have to
Time cannot be turned back
Come along this is it

2009-01-13T21:52:00.002+08:00

I had the shock of my life today

And this kinda thing I imagined it loads of time before

It felt like it was cut out from some story

And yet it happened to me

HAHA

This could only be done by JEM

Adding in Jamie and Ying Li

***

They gave me a suprise birthday celebration

Super no notifications!

And hehe...that was my first suprise

I hope that it was not the last

***

Thanks peeps!

LoVe ya!!!

:)

Thanks for the pressies too!

***

Thanks Daddy and Mummy for the backpack! Love it!

I promise to use it as often as I can

HEHE...

:)

*muaxkz*

***

I am indeed blessed! Thanks Pa for blessing me with great friends! :)

-HEHE-

G.L.U.E.

2009-01-11T22:56:00.002+08:00

I will overcome
I am sure of it
I dont know how but I will
Ah Pa I am counting on You
I sent someone to help me start it off
Please continue to send more
Give me strength
Give me the courage

I will overcome this
I am counting on You God
For I know that You are the unfailing God
And Your love is unfailing

I will be an overcomer
You have so many things in store for me
Oh I know it
I have now so many things in my hands
But yet You say that
"That's not it girl"
"There's so much more for you"
"I promise. It's coming"

I am an overcomer
Please send the correct people
To help me through this

I know that You are good
I will declare

You are great and awesome
I give thanks to You
For You are my Lord
Saviour
My God

I am counting on God

*dont ask me what it is*

-overcoming-

G.L.U.E.

2009-01-08T20:25:00.002+08:00

*****

I miss you
I miss all the time that I wished we could spent
Time passed so fast
Doesnt it?
It's been so long
Since I heard your voice

Oh how I love the way
You held me in your arms
I want to rant
Scream out loud
It's so frustrating
Like tearing up my heart

Oh how I hate you
The way you acted
My very soul teared and bleed
Scars filled me
No bandage can protect me
I am left broken

Why am I doing this
Why am I regreting
It was awesome
But I cant
Why cant I
Remember

Thinking it through
I hate feeling like this
The pain it striked me
Please go away
Somehow I feel that
All of this is not worth it

I sat across the lawn
Staring at all those people
They never fail to hurt me
The longing for that thing
Oh how I hate this
Please go away

It's a kind of thing
That is very sweet
But yet it's so bitter and sour
Why do I like to do this
Running around in circles
Til I beat myself up

Fairytales
How I want to be in them
Living accordingly
To how they were written
But they will never come true
In this reality

Happy endings
Are things that are created
So make use of time
Dont waste it like water
"I love you"
"Don't change no matter what"

****

Oh yaa....
Happie New Year...

*To my dear KoKo...Press on!!! :) God bless

-troubling dramas-

G.L.U.E.

2008-12-26T11:01:00.003+08:00

*Happie Birthday to me, Happie birthday to moi! Happie birthday to Miss LALA...HAPPIE BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO me.*

Sads...My last year with my age having a TEEN behind it.
Nineteen.
Now am officially that.

I'm rather scared. I wrote it somewhere but I didnt bring it to type it inside here but anyways I'm fine now.

I'll be Miss Whatever-but-will-still-tahan-all-the-way!

HAHAHA....

Thanks to all who wished me Happie birthday!
:)

Oh and Merry Christmas and a Happie New Year! :)

*la la la la la la fa lalalalalallalalala la lala la *

*Singing Deck the halls*

-Cakie Yuckie HEhe-

G.L.U.E.

2008-12-23T09:17:00.002+08:00

Wah...common test over...back at home...
So many things have happened...

My last post was on India...
I can say goodbye to that fantasy already

26 Nov:
Ah Pa gave me a sign
To give thanks despite the circumstances
To press on and not give in
To remember that He is indeed in control
God Almighty

*May Ah Pa take care of Alvina as she has now passed on*

28 Nov:
I decided to let go
I cried and cried
I dont know why really
Was it cause I couldnt go or was it cause my results are not that good
Anyways I shall overcome this
Another hurdle the stronger my faith will be
Jesus overcame so shall I

Yups so that's pretty much the end of India...:( but will :))))

(>,<)

29 Nov:
I dont really know where this came from but will praise and worship during youth service this phrase came upon me.

"God make rainbows visible therefore we should not be invisible but be visible for Christ!"

Detonate youths have been through a lot and we do wish to rise up and be warriors for God's army. This came upon me when I was upset and down. I just felt so invisible that I want to hide but I am remembered about how we should not hide but be out there to be all we can be. Learn to let God's plan flow. Trust in Him for He will not let us down.

*****
Throughout the entire common test period I just felt that God was really watching over me and I am really thankful. I just hope that my result would be as good as I felt. Ha ha...
I dont know if it was just my imagination but while I prayed before my Pharmacology paper, I felt something or someone touched my left shoulder but when I turned around no one was even near me. 0.0! Spooky! HA HA...

*****
Before going back to Kuching, I took a bus to Bangsar to meet up with Kristeen ( my sis) before we go back home together on the 15th.
My ride to Bangsar was on the 13th @ 9:30am @ Velocity.
I ALMOST MISS MY BUS!!!
I wasnt late or anything but I went to had breakfast with Joshua. He came to sent me off. We had Old Chang Ke's nasi lemak ( nice :) ). We were like talking and talking and walk towards the place where I was gonna board the bus. I saw people board the bus so I looked for my ticket in my bag and when I turned my head, the freaking bus left!!!! I was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Ran out... the security guard was like stop the bus!!! ha ha...And Josh and I were like running after the bus and thank God! I got on the bus...hehe... :P

I'm not ever doing that again! the last time I did that was at KLIA...freaking amazing race to the gate to board the plane....h aha....

*****
Since I got back I only met with Fred and Zakil, but last night I met more. :)
Sharon, Natalia, Lester, Irwin, Kelvin, Eric, Catherine.
We went to 'The Secret Garden'. I think it's not bad. Just that if you are a big eater, dont order the pastas...:X It's super (for me) little.
After that, we went to Eric's place to watch Eagle Eye. Not bad. And I thought it was not nice. HA HA...
Reached home at like 12+++...
That was a first for me in Kuching. :P
Somehow no matter what even if mom says that I dont have a curfew but she will still wait for me to come back when she always fall asleep by 11++!! lol...
Ha ha...we had fun cuddling talking about stuffs before we went to sleep at like almost 2? ha ha...fun times. :)

*****

That's pretty much all for now.
:)

-back at home-

G.L.U.E.

2008-11-25T20:08:00.003+08:00

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

I havent done this in quite a long time but it is time that I go back.

Things have been pretty rough for me. I am so frustrated.

There's this immersion trip to India in March and it's like quite expensive but I really wanna go. Well, good thing the school gives subsidy to us the students...but not students like me...sadly coz I'm a foreigner. I'm like super frustrated. My lecturers are like trying their best to look for a way to help me get it.

I really wanna go.

I've been praying. Really hard.

"Dear heavenly Father, I really wanna go for the trip to India. I dont want it to end up like the last time. You really give and take away. You answered my prayers the last time but in a different way. But no matter what happens I will still continue to trust and love You for You are my God and I know is all in Your timing. I cannot challenge Your plans for me. All I can do is do my best to trust in you and dont worry much. But, Lord...I cannot help but get all angry and frustrated. I really wanna go. Please Lord. Send me a sign. Tell me something. Even though it is hard to let go, if You tell me no, I will say yes to You. No matter how painful, I will trust You. I know You will provide and bless me but if things dont go my way, I pray that it will go Your way. For You are my Creator, my King and Saviour, I belong to You. Dear Lord Jesus, I will still praise You even though it doesnt work out. For I know that You are in control and there's more out there for me. You lay down the pavements in front of me. You know that I am afraid to fall down so please dont forget to catch me. I love You Pa. Amen."

***

Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version)

Do not worry

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I shall do my best not to worry. Ah Pa, I hand this problem into Your hands. You know I apparently always end up stressed up so please take over. :)

-Loving my Jesus-

G.L.U.E.

2008-11-24T22:41:00.002+08:00

You'll never guessed what happen today...:)

***

Fresh Fire Conference is over...but the fire will continue to burn

Let's pray and hope that it will...

The worship was awesome! So were the speakers! :)

***

Frederick called me today!!!

OMG!!!

Super extra surprise but hehe...sorry Fred if I dint sound like I was...

Poor Fred...He's super bored...now back in KL...going back to Kuching if I'm not wrong this Sat...

Miss him lots...(there! I said it) I havent seen him since he left for NZ...
And that was like almost 2 years...soon la hor...

Well...I think he kinda changed a lot...mainly appearance...he super looks like a girl now...

My new girl friend! haha...:P

When I get back...he said that we should go out everyday...coz he will be bored...lol!

***

Countdown to common test week...in 2 weeks time...

***

India trip...

Can I go? I am super frustrated...

Ah Pa, please give me a sign...

I need it desperately...

***

-another time soon-

G.L.U.E.

2008-11-15T09:36:00.002+08:00

I'm now doing my CLBC practical...
CLBC = Clinical Biochemistry

Funny to think that I initially wanted to take this module as a course
And now it has come back to haunt me! lol...no la...

Homework:
Pharmacology TutorialSSSSS = a lot to do
Pharmaceutical Practical = one of the longest practicals ever...

We had to do 2 practicals in 1 and according to Mrs Mrinal[lecturer],it wont take long....please...
Lab4[the 1st one] = lack of castor oil cause us[edah and I] to be a little left behind
Lab5[got 3 parts] = Part 1 and 2: the oily and aqueus phase took forever to reach freakin 75 degrees!
= Part 3: The emulsion broke! [= separation/didnt blend properly]

*saddsss*

Quizes to study for:
Pharmaceutical : Tuesday
CLBC : Next Friday

*Common test is in like few more weeks!!!*

I know...I'm supposed to be doing my work now...
Ya...and why am I even on the net...
I need to do my work on excel...and the net thing is coz well...the broadband just connects to my lappie when I switch it on...so ya...

:P

okies...I shall go now...

Adios Amigos

G.L.U.E.

-homework-

2008-11-03T13:17:00.003+08:00

It's been ages...
Raffy says that my blog like dead already...sadded...

But I do feel like ending it...

So many things happened since school started...
It felt like forever since but it was like only 3 weeks...this week is the 4th.

1st week...
BZ BZ BZ...
*last guitar lesson
*I gave up my treasurer position
*starting point for my healing heart
*ISPE Symposium [boring...3 hours of super long lecture]
*Thursday: Start of pain

2nd week
*SOBA!!!
*HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!!!
*Ian came to my church :D
*I have a growing wisdom tooth and a huge ulcer!! Pain...

3rd week
*1st guitar lesson!!!
*NP@45
*International Night!

4th week...
*WED:10:00am...wisdom tooth surgery
*HOLIDAY...not really la...MC...
*World Students' Day!!!

There you go...

Sighs....

-Trust in God's timing-

G.L.U.E.
:D

2008-10-11T10:42:00.002+08:00

Sian....
Here you go...
I so nice le...people ask me to update so I update ya? lol...

It's been ages since I typed in here. And look...it's the end of the holidays...

Here we go again...

And I didnt really achieve as much as I hoped for...
Too many want to dos...when I know me too well...

SLACKER!

[ZzZzZzZ]

Sian...

I think I have become a very implusive shopper...I buy what I like and I know I can use...

This is causing a huge hole in my bank account...and I still wanna go for advance guitar lesson...die

I just hope for the best...I hope that I can really save...[as if]

***

I need to get back
The starting line had become intensely blurry
Dusty particles floating everywhere
That's how long I have not visit

I recall
I used to come often
Growing deeply in these parts
And I remember how I love it

And yet I have betrayed you
Running away; escaping
Why did I do that
I have become a stranger to myself

I am now stuck in the mud
I need to return
If not I will die
Help me

***

School starts on Monday...First lesson...Spanish!!! Whoots

Can't wait

-miss school-

G.L.U.E.

2008-09-10T17:52:00.002+08:00

It's the holidays now...
Taking some..[LOTS] of rest
And it seems to me that it may be a little too[oooo] much

I know I should get a job or maybe go back home
But there are still stuff to do here you know

I just started guitar lessons [again]
But this time it is the one that I wanted
It's at Believer Music @ International Plaza
After all those freaking years learning something else
I finally got what I wanted
And even better
Why?
Coz @ Believer Music we get to learn to play guitar as well as worship and learn about the word! Cool huh?!

The only problem now is that I dont have a guitar and I still havent go and get one from cf room...*sighs*

I'm just wasting time...[watch me]

You know you wake up in the morning right? Well...thanks to my dreams, I got up at like 1pm plus...lol...
Too many dreams...and I cant even remember them
I think one of them has to do with scary big bugs...
*yuck*
lol...

I got a new obsession...hehe...
Well...if you know me...you'll know what it is...hehe...

plus...i caught the bug again...
I love this syndrome but at the same time...I hate it too...
Super sian...
Coz I cant get what I want...
I know...[Edah hits me on the head]
I so[ooo][ooo][ooo] want it...
;P

-music to my ears-

G.L.U.E.

2008-08-31T23:42:00.002+08:00

overwhelmed by thoughts
surrounded by little sounds
of major fluttering
crazy thoughts you may think
but it is so much more
than fluttering of wings

***

no longer upset... :)
just a little dose of crazy me
that's all
:D
and I can't contained it

***

welcome world
this is me
taking my baby little steps
so you may see more than these
introducing my wings
I am going to take flight

take me away; I allow you to
show me more than my view
share with me
all that you have for me
so that I may go
and be who you want me to be

***

oh how I love 'Little Women'
the first time I saw it
oh how I remember
Thanks to Ai Lin
:)
I finally got hold of a copy of my own
Don't think too much
It's just the movie
Watching it again
Reminds me of the magic of language
[It's not much but I think it's awesome!]

Literature
how I adore you
:)

-wishing for a time machine-

G.L.U.E.

2008-08-31T19:50:00.002+08:00

I AM FREAKING UPSET!!!!

:(

I WANNA CRY!

It may be something insignificant to you but to me it was something special.

I guess it was too much of me...sorry you

Well thanks to my obsession over JB, you are disfigured.

I so sorry.

My heart is broken too.

ARGH!!!!!

*butterfly's crying session*

G.L.U.E.

2008-08-23T12:34:00.003+08:00

OMG!!! It has been like super long since I blogged! lol...

Anyways, I just got one thing to say...

IT'S THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOHOO!
Finally...after all those sleepness nights and those sleepy mornings....
Exams are over...and now I just dont wanna see my results..
:p
Damn scared...
Throughout the entire week...it was bad
I studied til I was super stressed that I did badly
I was having migraines...hate those grains... :p
The first 3 papers I had migraines....
The 2nd paper I almost blank out
The 3rd paper I was shaking the whole way and my tummy wasnt very nice to me
The last paper was the best...and I was quite happy with it...[unless whatever I wrote is wrong then...ummm...ya...]

Wed going out with JEM...
Dont get any ideas...
It stands for Jehanne, Edah and Millison.
Oh ya, We are called Jemm...adding another M -> Me...
Ha ha...

And now for the holidays....
:)

2008-07-27T11:36:00.004+08:00

How many times do I
Have to repeat myself
On going around the bush
Beating it agains the thorns
It hurts so bad
And I am bleeding

The clock is ticking
I need to hide
Myself from the many faces
Which pulls me in and out
I need to go
But and yet I cant

Help me please
I beg of you
Return me to what I was
Throw away the key
And let me sleep in peace
Where it is my home

But when I flee from all
I still get pulled back
No matter how much
Or how far I run away
It seems that
I can no longer come back

I am sick and tired
How much more can I take
I might as well
Be bedridden for all I care
So I can no longer be
What I am expected to be

My dreams haunt me
I need to flee once more
Labels stapled to my skin
I am not those
I dont think I can be
Please remove them, they hurt

I am not that easy
Please do not define me
As what you see
I am more than what meets the eye
Beyond these four walls
Is what I see through these butterfly eyes

G.L.U.E.

2008-07-16T21:43:00.002+08:00

Yadiyadiyada...

1. The person who last tag you is: Edah...

2. Your relationship with him/her is: My bestie...my Yeos Sista...and the list goes on...

3. Your five impression of him/her: Gila[haha],hyperactive,super enthu...

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you: 0.0...umm...kinda a lot le...

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you: ROLFMAO...lol

6.If he/she become your lover, you will: be killed by her many husbands...0.0...hehe

7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be: I would be dead by then why would she need to improve? Maybe by giving me a warning? lol

8. If he/she become your enemy, you will: throw as many caterpillars on her![grins]

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be: I threw the first caterpillar? :p

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is: to give her jambu :p

11. Your overall impression of him/her is: The crazy gal

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?: Blurr,nice? Siao...;P

13. The characteristics you love about yourself are: being a listener, Kindness

14. On the contrary, the characteristics you hate about yourself are: Always stressing myself out...being nervous

15. The most ideal person you want to be is: Jesus!

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them: XOXO from me to y'all

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you
1. Millison [first thought]
2. Jehanne [She is 18 today!!]
3. Jamie [umm...she is 17 today!!..ha ha]
4. Fred [missing you lots!!!]
5. Ken [random...lol...]
6. Leon [coz he have a blog?]
7. Van [I wonder if she reads my blog...]
8. Grace [she reads my blog...:p]
9. Nic [I wonder if he will blog...but your comp is down...sadded]
10. Amber [miss you gal!]
18. Who is no.6 having relationship with?
Me! lol...no lo...we bro n sis le...how cn? He is having a relationship with God!

19. Is no.9 a male or female?
Umm...male? He is my ah ko le...ko = bro, bro = male?

20. If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
They dont even know each other??? Plus they are gals?

22. What is no.2 studying about?
How to be a good model? ha ha...pharm gal

23. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
Before I walk up the overhead bridge?

24. What kind of music band does no.8 like?
I have no idea...sad case...

25. Does no.1 have any siblings?
YESSSS!!! me! her twin sister of a year older...lol...

26. Will you woo no.3?
0.0

27. How about no.5?
[no comment][for those who knows me, knows this answer...]

28. Is no.4 single?
Yes...I think so...but the last time I checked...I thought he is my pretend bf? lol...jk

29. What is the surname of no.5?
Lim...

30. What 's the hobby of no.4?
Blogging, taking pictures, watching pirated DVDs!

31. Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
Hmm...they might if they actually knew each other....

32. Where is no.2 studying at?
NP Pharmacy Science!

33. Talk something casually about no.1:
Cannot talk! Coz she'll end up LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...and the list goes on...ha ha...

34. Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
0.0...[no comments]

35. Where does no.9 live at?
Yishun rite?

36. What colour does no.4 like?
Hmm...royal colours? lol...[crown prince]

37. Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
Friends...

38. Does no.7 like no.2?
0.0...they dont know each other and I'm very sure that they are straight!

39. How do you get to know no.2?
She is my classmate?

40. Does no.1 have any pets?
Does she? hmm...maybe Melvin...lol

41. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
heheheh...[no comments] [later get beaten up!]

2008-07-16T17:34:00.002+08:00

This is kinda depressing...coz it's over and yet relieving...

THANK YOU LORD!!!!! SOOOO MUCH!!!

If it wasn't for You, it would not have worked out.

***

PDOP is over...yes people it was yesterday
[and I had my makeup on...:p]
When the doors were opened, we started pre-worship and didn't really realise the crowd coming in. But then I decided to take a look so I turned around and was at awe! My dream came true[sort of]. I wanted to see an auditorium packed with youths; praising the Lord, worshiping Him. Although it may not be an auditorium but it was a start. I turned around and saw the lecture theatre almost packed and there were more coming in! I teared...although I dare not coz I was wearing makeup/eyeliner so I didnt wanna smudged it [but it happened anyways in the end coz people started commenting on my smokey eyes! lol...and it wasnt supposed to be smokey lo]...but anyways bottom line is that I really enjoyed the wonderful presence of God and I am indeed super thankful that I didnt cough while I was singing...[I was singing backup].

This event was a wonderful opportunity for Cfers and Crusaders to work and grow together as brothers' and sisters' in Christ! I love working together with y'all and I do hope that there will be more future collaboration!

:)

***

Today is Jehanne's and Jamie's birthday!

HAPPIE BIRTHDAY YOU TWO!!!!!!

:))))

***

Another tiring day...
Realising that the end of the semester is coming soon...
This is so super sadding...
In addition
Next week is another week of tests...
[not again!]
Sian...

-flat duck-

G.L.U.E.

2008-07-14T15:52:00.002+08:00

DIE!!!! how?! ok...calm down....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....[breaths...pants]
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

I have cough and sore throat
MAJOR GG!
Tml is PDOP and I'm singing back up and ahhhh....i tried singing but cannot. How?!
Pray....

Anyways,
Yes people...PDOP-Poly Day of Prayer is tml!
zomg it's here!

Hoping for the best...
Stand firm and do not fall
One mistake says it all
But none shall ask
When forgiveness is poured out
Heal me from within

***

Had a very nice and long talk with ah ko nic...at luke's suprise party
Thanks ko for listening

Oh ya!
Jyan and edah and I joined project revival
Project revival is a makeover competition for an InE event [innovative and enterprise]
If you wanna come and support me and my pals or just come and see the competition, please drop by my talking cove [chatbox] to tell me.
I will fill you in on the details.

Here is their promo video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S4uXAU6iJo
check it out!

:)

-sore-

G.L.U.E.

2008-07-03T13:56:00.003+08:00

ha ha...now having nap time in class...seriously... [pharmaceutical analysis]

i look back and the whole class is in DreamLand...or LALA land...ha ha

lots of bdays coming up....and some have past.

Tuesday was Yewey mummy birthday....MOo!!

Yesterday celebrated Shine's belated birthday

Today is Ken's birthday....

SUper many birthday cn...

Next week is Daddy Luke's birthday...

Following week, Jamie and Jehanne's

After that is JonJon's birthday....

Then finally Edah's birthday...

I think Uncle Ter Soon's birthday squeeze somewhere in between...

Sighs...money fly away...lucky got extra...:p

Must improvise! :)

oh ya....got stuff to advertise

Poly Day of Prayer [PDOP]

It is one of CF's [Christian Fellowship] biggest event of the year! It is time for us Christians on campus pray for our campus, our fellow schoolmates, our lecturers, our generation!

We are the chosen generation. I think it is time that we break free from our comfort zone and move out! Shine for God so that the world will know who He is and His son!

Come and join us at Lt 26, Ngee Ann Polytechnic @ 6-9pm on the 15 July, Tuesday! It is 12 days from now! :)

****

I wanna thank God for my results. Although they are not exactly quite excellent but typical Michelle scores. Sadded. REALLY! B-s and hehe...A! on my Pharm Analysis...my fave...

Hope to get that score that I want.... :]

Tomorrow another day...

*Tomorrow, tomorrow. I love ya. Tomorrow. You're only a day away...*

lol...nitez

-panda eyes-

G.L.U.E.

2008-06-25T00:34:00.005+08:00

I know it's been ages...okies...i am back! =)

I know I should be telling y'all bout my views on narnia : prince caspian but I havent had the time to compile my thoughts yet. Sorry.

Anyways, first thing first. I would like to thank God for His grace and mercy upon us, Charms as our event [which was yesterday] was a great success. I know selling bean curd tarts were never an easy task [no one said it would not be...lol]. Thanks girls for your never-ending effort to sell and get your friends to come down and support us! Whoots.... It's really amazing to see our friends actually come down and also help us out by calling more friends to come and support us! In the end, some of our friends could not even buy from us coz there isn't any left. Sadded but happy too...lol...coz we finish selling ALL!!! Yeah! It is a NEW challenge to us; selling bean curd tarts...running such an event...promoting...publicizing...but it was exciting and nerve-recking at the same time...lol...I'm just glad that it is over! hehe...plus we get to earn some profit...[minus the amount that we cough out of our own pockets]

Secondly, about Church camp/Youth camp...it was beyond awesome!!! The Holy Spirit was really at work! That was my first ever Zion Full Gospel Church Camp! And I loved it! Still loving it! It was fast and fun while it lasted. Bunked with Jolene...[man! was it hard to get her out of the bed!!!]...we had lots of fun together...talking about her "man"-William Moseley [the guy from narnia who plays Peter Pevensie/High King of Narnia]...eating instant noodles at like midnight watching 'That's so Raven" and "Lizzie Mcguire"...[love you roomate]...Our speaker [for the youths] was Pastor Chris Long! Love him! Although I heard like more than half of his sermons before, it still gave me new insights and revelations. Oh...and he spoke to us about dating and sex. In the camp, he prayed for me and God prompted him to tell me that my characteristics/spiritual gifts are good but I have been using them not for Him but for myself. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I should change my heart. For Him and not for me or the world. I shared during the first morning devotion. Our camp's theme was on excellence and my topic was "Have you excel?" I was really nervous and still was after the devotion coz I was wondering what was the impact I made and if I said the right things. Anyways, the leaders ensured me that I did well. And get this! I encouraged someone through my sharing. I dont know about the rest though but even so I am super mega happy! =)

I pray that my flame for God will be kept ablaze!

Okies...anyways the holidays did not feel like holidays coz we had lots of school work to do. And now that school has reopen, I'm still not done with them! lol...

First week of school and it's another full and buzy week! Got a workshop from tomorrow onwards til friday from 7pm on. It will be tiring but rewarding. It is on friendship evangelism. Although I will miss mobbing but it is worth it. There will be more mobbing session in the future! =)

OMG! it's like 1.02am! I better go now! When I wake up sure become panda! for sure! but not kungfu panda la...lol...

-tired but still up-

G.L.U.E.

Sorry

2008-06-16T19:44:00.002+08:00

Heyoz to y'all out there

My apologies...
Due to the amount of work that I have at hand
I cannot blog about my view of narnia : prince caspian
As well as how camp has been for me
But no worries
I will return
By next week
After my event on Monday
[which I hope will be a success]

There is something
Please [for those who attend NP] come and support me on this coming Monday at 12-6pm at the convention center underpass.
My group and I will be selling bean curd tarts and for those who buys more than two tarts, will stand a chance to draw from the lucky draw box.
Hope to see you there.

Cheero

-tired with stress-

G.L.U.E.

What happened so far...

2008-06-08T23:37:00.002+08:00

lots of things happen even before common test.

First thing first
I am letting go of him
At first I felt so emo when he told me that he tried to like me
But it failed
It's really upsetting but what can I do
But God told me"Do not be afraid. For I am with you. I will guide and lead you."=)
I am learning
I just need to hand over my troubles; my pain

Second thing
Common test
Stress and worries
I studied and studied
But I am afraid that it is still not enough
But I am still hoping for the best

Third thing
When to watch The Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian
Overall I love it but well little not so glam stuff in between
The camera/filming effect was bad
But that was not the main point
I cried once the credits came out

A little flash back
That morning [friday, 6 June]
Fuji prayed for me
He prayed that my heart will be changed
That lingered inside me
I know that I have to change
But I knew that there was something more

Ok, back to the crying scene
I cried because the story reminded me that I have not believed
I believed but I did not truely believe
My pride within me is ruling me
I made a barrier between me and God
I could not receive
His wonderful love; His eternal joy
Because I refuse to accept
I gave up at the age of five
I grew up filling my heart with hurts, pains, sadness, pride, anger, envy and jealousy
No one can tell right
But I often compromise and put God aside
He opened my eyes; my heart
I know see and truely understand
Why of all those doubts and skeptical thoughts
And why I keep wanting that same thing
And yet I already have it
I just did not want to accept it
But know I recommit my life
To my Saviour
My Lord

I am learning
That's all I can say

****

I will be away from the 9th-12th of June for church camp at KL. So yes y'all cannot contact me unless ha ha...you have my msian no.

When I get back, I will be posting on narnia. My views and interpretation.

-getting on track-

2008-06-05T23:02:00.006+08:00

Buh~
got tagged by Milli...mi-chan...sadded...
anyways...ya...here u have it...the verdict...

1. At which age do you want to get married?
Hmm...I wanna get married by well...29? thats the max. But if God wants me to like get married at like well...40? Haha...then I will have to submit to that la... [I will be like 0.0!! G.G.!] But if He ask me to not get married le? Hmm...

2.Who is more important to you? Friends or boyfriend?
God! Well...if you are comparing between just friends and boyfriend...FRIENDS la... [duh...I dont have a boyfriend...even if I do...he will be equally important as them coz he is my friend too! :)]

3. Who is/are the person/people you trust most?
God! Had and have and always will be! Whoots! [by the way...God is a person to me too...at times...if you wanna argue den Jesus lo]

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
I dont have to think. I just have to hand over my worries to God although it is difficult but I shall not give up! Therefore, yes I do have enough confidence for it is in my Lord!

5. What would you do if you saw someone abusing an innocent animal?
[I will go up to that person and beat that someone up! How dare you abuse an innocent animal?!]
I shall do my best to save that animal regardless of what kind of animal it is.

6. Do you believe in seeing rainbow after rain?
Believe for what? It is a fact! I have seen it. Almost everyone has seen it. It is scientifically proven!

7.What is your goal for this year?
I have lots! But the main thing is to do so much better than last year in my studies!

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Yes!
"For God so love the world, that He gave His only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life" - John 3:16
That people is eternal love! To give up something so precious is eternity love. And I shall love Him endlessly!
[with Your majesty here, I fall to my knees. I love You endlessly...singing away...]

9. Have you ever broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
Well...I wont know right? The someone never tell me so how I know. Haha... Siao ar?! Gila! As if got la...but broke someone's heart got la.

10. What feeling do you love most?
Being loved

11. If one day your best friend and boyfriend quarrel, who will you side with?
Well...which best friend? haha... my boyfriend has to be my best friend wa. So what? quarrel with himself? ha ha.... Ok...just for the sake of answering the question...neither...I will side myself...coz later sure will ask me. lol...

12.Name one qoute u like or thought of?
"Do not be afraid. For I will lead you."

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yes

14. Do you like to hang out with friends?
Yes...ya...use hanger to hang me and my friends outside...ha ha...

15. What/Who do you think is/are the most important in your life?
God!!!

16.If you were on a ship, your mother and your boyfriend (been together for 2 years) were knocked out of the ship, you only have one life float, who would you throw it to?
Depends... LOL! as if la...of coz my mom lo. My boyfriend sure can swim one. If cannot then what to do? There are plenty more fishes in the big blue ocean!

17.If your boyfriend were to two-time you, what would you do?
Umm...it happened? Lol... let me try to recall...cried, got mad, pissed, left him.

18. If time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?
Hmm...too many. Cannot choose le. Most probably during primary school days.

19.Have you ever thought that you've made the wrong decision & you're in a dilemma after that?
Like yes. And it happened too many times le. But what to do. Move along...[forward]

20. Would you die for the one you love?
Finally last ques. No. I would never have that much courage to die for the one I love what more to say for myself. The process of dying scares me. But I am looking forward to the promised beyond it.

DONE! Finally...
*yawns*

-elmos in the house say yo-

Common Tests....

2008-05-29T22:29:00.002+08:00

Sadding case but ya...
Due to common tests preparation and itself...
I have been and will be MIA-ing for awhile...
So y'all will have to wait...
Til end of next week...

BYEIES....

pray for me!!! thkies...

-mugging-

G.L.U.E.

Killing me softly

2008-05-23T14:00:00.002+08:00

*Killing me softly with his song...killing me softly...with his song...Telling my whole life with his words...Killing me softly with his song* - Lauryn Hill

lol...what was that?
anyways...

He is indeed killing me with my subconscious thoughts of crazy doubts and fears. What la...and I thought all this while that was his answer but it turned out differently. But his reactions and actions is just so clear that I thought it was true.

*sighs...heavy hearted*

*smsing edah in malay*

*damn hot day - yet thankful*

Oh...although well...I thought that I am going there (aussie), it turns out the opposite. Too bad. Although He did answered my request but well...apparently I should have asked in another way.

*sadding but fine*

Thank You Lord for everything...and I enjoy You and me time.

*loves*

*giggles*

Just wondering if that what You have in store for me. Yeses and nos...

*lol*

*batu*

*:p*

Okies...I have gone mad...

-smiles-

G.L.U.E.

Thankful

2008-05-15T17:40:00.002+08:00

Being thankful is what I want to be
Often too many times
It is not seen
But it is there
Dont forget how much
I love you

From the start
I was lost
Yet You gave me hope
All confused and exhausted (ha has)
Though we just knew each other
You brought us all together

Through tough and bad times
Even good ones and goofy ones
It is all captured
All in our hearts
Never forgetting the laughters
As well as tears

We may throw tantrums
Even things
But we end up
LOLing once more
You guys were there for me
And I hope to do the same as well

It may seem that I keep it all
But I dont if you can see that
I do my best to excrete it all
Sometimes a bit of too much
Failures, winnings and faults
You still walk with me

Adding on to the crazy times
Plus dreams to come
Prayers and love letters
Names and machines
If the rest can see
We are all joined together

Thank You for this
Making our paths cross
Sometimes things may not be
What they often seem
But I know
Blessed I am

Thankful once again
And always I shall be
Never ending til the end
Rollercoasters and dinosaurs
Sharing the love
With each other

*this is dedicated to millison, jehanne, edah, cfers, my housemates, detonates, schoolmates*

-thankful-

G.L.U.E.

It's been awhile...dont you think

2008-05-14T00:33:00.003+08:00

It's been awhile since I came
Here in this place
Return to what I was
Back then and yesterday
So different
Yet the same

Does anyone see me
Do you see me through these glasses
Behind them hidden
Under the shadows of the clouds
Is someone who wants
And needs more than that

This is my plea
Hitting against the wall
It's getting problematic
I cannot stand it anymore
Screaming and aching
I wish to run away

I need a hug
A warm embrace
Send them to me once more
Faithful You are to me
Never doubting
That I can pull through

Swirling and twirling
Saved by the music of the night
Imagined by an artist unknown
I want to be that
My dream from yestern years
Take me there

I need to run
I need to disappear
I want to escape
From this
All of it
Ripped me of this despair

Moving shadows
Around me floating
Dont you see me
Disappearing into the crowd
But from where I stand
That is you

Lighting and street lights
As I walk alone here
Peace and grace
Please show yourselves
I want to unfold
Allow me to, please

The depths of my heart
Is no longer there
It is a hole
Dig deeper
And you will see
All of me

-solitary-

G.L.U.E.

What did I do to YOU?!

2008-05-12T18:27:00.001+08:00

i HATE the world!!!!

what did i do?!!!!

to have been treated that way?!

the society is a disgrace!!!

to even be as low as that!

as dirty like a cockroach!

to be cursed and sneered

why did i come here

it seems like i should have done it then

but i know where i stand

i know what can be done and what not

if i havent got Him

i wont be who i am today

i would have been like them

and i would have even killed

thank Him for saving me

if not YOU would have been dead!

-disgusted-

G.L.U.E.

Talk about stress

2008-05-10T09:57:00.002+08:00

Yups talk about stress...i can no longer stand it anymore...and thanks to my freakin bed...it seems to be getting worse....

As the headaches and migranes pile up...adding on with my backaches...i hate it...

Lots to do...so little time...

I am extremely glad about what happened...though I am still struggling no doubt...

Thank You Daddy for answered prayers...and indeed I am excited about this one...You answered me immediately...

I pray for peace...it develops within us as but reality pulls me deeper...I need help...I need to be rescue...

I pray for comfort...in my heart and all over...the rigidity around me is problematic...

You gave me lots of blessings and oppurtunities...I hope I can catch them all...

Hold me before I fall off...I am letting go off my baggage...that one...some others too...I hope...

I am saying my goodbyes...I know it's no longer beneficial as it seems...and I thought there might be some hope...but now I doubt there is...the line is clearly made...

Let me throw my waves and rollercoasters...my heart aches so...but I know what I have to do...You dont want me to have this...and I will accept it...thanks for the courage though...

Lots to do...so little time...

Can I cope? Help me...

This is my plea...there is no more...

-gasping for air-

G.L.U.E.

Seriously

2008-04-27T14:24:00.005+08:00

I stare at him and he doesnt look back. What's wrong? Or is it jus me? He just walks through me. I am not asking for anything. I am well of course longing for something in return. Seriously, it's obvious that he dont want to return anything! Why am I still hoping? I still feel that jumpy-crazy-flip-flops when they all call your name. His reply is clear-cut that he dont want anything to have to do with me. Although what he said is true but human nature can come and hit us. He is very nice and I thank him for telling me so. BUT!!!!! It is not clear at all. I can interpret it in a million ways so where do you want me to start?

*sighs*

I sat there and when he comes by, my heart actually skips a bit. I cannot help it. Plus this FREAKING grudge! She is my best friend. Why cant I tell her? This is bad. I have to remove it. Wait, it's not her! It's him! He keeps making me think that he is still into her.

*broken heart*

I need to scrape all of these off! I tried to get rid of him but he still is there. Immovable! I thought that once I clear things out it would be done but unfortunately not. I know now that it is not easy. Trials and tests I need to go through.

*sniffs*

I need Your help. Guide me through this as I let You lead. As I call upon Your name, I know that You hear me. Thanks! Seriously, I really need help. I need affirmation. Maybe You could send him?

*laughs*

-thinking of you fondly-

G.L.U.E.

Happiness

2008-04-24T20:17:00.002+08:00

I'm so ecstatic!!! I cant believe it! Thank You Lord! Thank you mi!
I am going for youth camp!!!! Indeed NO FEAR! NO LIMIT! NO SUBSITUTE! YEAH!!!! You really wanted me to go, dont you? so I can grow more! and ya...it seems like You wanted me to do something. Thats why! But still I am so excited!

Another celebration! Immersion trips!!! Aussie and Indie! 0.0!!! I wanna go!!! I really hope I can!

Yet another one! Thank You Lord for being with me always, never ignoring, always faithful!

-mega awesome-

G.L.U.E.

So Thankful

2008-04-12T22:21:00.002+08:00

Indeed I am

Thank God for You are so awesome. You never fail to remind me and get me back on track. No matter how far I driff, You always bring me back. I know how You want me to put You first in all that I do and only You. And when You want it to be done, You will definitely make it happen!

You know me very well how my self-control and discipline level is desperately low. You know how I am so stuck in the world and lost in their concepts. You know how I would dream and imagine. You know all my worldly thoughts and experiences. You know I am weak, lost and in immense pain. You know how I can be. You know beyond all things that You can always bring me back to Your side and rescue me.

Thank You, Lord. Somehow, beyond all things You make use of all those crazy thoughts and being and experiences. You will help me find my way out and often through these, You bring back to You; closer. I love You, Abba Father. Always.

You are the Provider. My Jehovah Jireh. In times of trouble and stress, and often worries and anxieties, You make a way for everything. Often saving me from the depths of worries. Indeed, I am so thankful.

-so in love with you-

G.L.U.E.

The Rain

2008-03-30T16:09:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was jus amazing. How You calmed and comforted me. As well as reminded me of my promise to You.
Watched a short clip by Rob Bell. He was talking about the rain and storms in our lifes and used a memory from his past to illustrate to us. In this memory of his, he was having a walk in the middle of nowhere in some forest with his one year old son. He was carrying his son in a backpack. While they were heading back, it started raining. I teared while watching this. Below are some of the interesting parts that were taken from the clip.

"Do you have one of those moments...like...If you could just freeze it? It's just so beautiful"
Don't we all have that. But I can't recall which one is the best. Most of them should be during my childhood which is pretty much all forgotten. However, I know that with every moment that He gives to me though beautiful or not, I will thank Him for it.

"I looked up and I notices clouds. And then it starts to rain. It always rains doesn't it? When the rain comes, it's not like they might. They do. It rains in our lives...a lot."
There's always storms and rains in our lives...yours and mine. Well, mine would definately be my dad's death. Others should be common like well...exams, school, reality. And well, is it raining now? As for me, yes and no. Yes because I am struggling in the different areas of my life for example, the guy problem. No because God is so good to me that He will always calm the storms and stop the rain. He puts trials in our lives not to make us suffer but to make us learn from our mistakes and our problems. It should never be easy. If it is, we will never learn. It is human nature to be stubborn and ungrateful.

"God says these amazing things like "When you cry out to me, I listen." He even says," I cannot ignore the cries of someone who is afflicted.""
Isn't He just so amazing? He listens to us when we cry out to Him! Sometimes we feel that God failed to come through for us. It is common as sometimes the results are never immediate. It takes time. I always feel that way. But I always know that He will answer me and He always give me answers through different means. It is just so astounding. Looking back, I still feel that He still have failed me because some of the prayers were never answered. But I always believe that He has His own timing to everything. Sometimes He just wants us to learn while waiting and maybe that is His answer.

"The Psalms speak over and over again about crying. About crying out to God"

"Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you" - Psalms 34:17

"Evening, morning, and noon, I cy out in distress, and He hears my voice." - Psalms 55:17

"God says to us," When you come to me, come to me with all your junk, with all your problems, come to me screwed up, all messed up. Let me take care of it."
My junk is a total mess. Some peoples junk are well organised but not mine. Mine is everywhere. This part reminded me how He cares for me and loves me. No matter how messy or junky I am I know that He will always listen and hear me out.

"Rain come down

Come and heal these sores

Wash them clean

Come and heal my soul"

"I stopped. I knelt down and take him out of the pack. I pull him close to my chest and I wrapped my arms around him. I held him so tightly against my heart. And fot the last mile of our walk, the entire time, I bent over and whispered into his ear over and over again, "I love you, buddy. We're gonna make it. Dad knows the way home.""

When you're going through really hard times and everything seems hopeless, do you still trust that God knows the way and you're going to make it? It sounds difficult. In fact I am sure most of us have been there. It is difficult to trust God when all seems to be lost. But I know that I can trust Him with all my heart because He has brought me out of so many of those kind of times before. Even when I cannot hear Him or see a result.

"There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." - Deuteronomy 1:31

"May you, when you're soaking wet, lost, hurting and confused, may you cry out and may the Creator of the universe take you out of your pack, and may He hold you tight up against His chest, may He wrap His eternal loving arms around you, and may you hear Him whisper...

"I love you buddy

We're going to make it

Dad knows the way home

We're gonna make it

I love you"

G.L.U.E.

Am I really over him?

2008-03-25T23:00:00.001+08:00

Is it over
Or am I just saying it
I have put it aside
To offer my heart to God
And not to another guy
But am I

Questions keep popping in and out
Of my mind
Here and there
There is no underlying
To this but
Was it even for real

I am taken on hold
Thrown into the whirlpool
Fallen to the ground
Chained my heart against
The brick wall
So that it wont get worse

Is it over
I need to confirm
But why am I doing so
I should be just letting it go
And not worry
Coz he should be the least of my problems

Lord, You are whom I seek
You are my priority
First and always
I have made my choice
I shall not tarry
And let reality take me

Do I have enough faith
That God will have someone for me
It is that time of year again
Multiple roses blooming
All in pairs
And they will never part

I must believe
And not bother about
What the world is saying
You shall be the only one
Until You give me someone
That is for me only

I shall not think
About the million possibilities
But I shall focus on one thing
And only that
My Lord and Saviour
The lover of my soul

He maybe the potential one
But my heart knows what to do
Therefore I shall not
Let my mind take over
Though the wind may blow
I shall stand firm

G.L.U.E.

Knocked Up Inside

2008-03-11T00:56:00.003+08:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

What's wrong with me? Have I lost all senses? You know I like him....but do I? I am no longer sure anymore. Maybe it's infatuation. I don't know. It's like I like him but I don't. Sigh. What am I to do? Lord, help me. Is this another one of your test to see my level of love for You or is it the test to see if we are meant to be? I am so confused. It seems like I'm back to square one. Sigh...plenty of that. I'm in the midst of confusion and uncertainty that I find something else to think about and apparently I don't have anything to think about. I know Ah Pa. What I should be really doing. I should be consulting You instead of other stuff. Lord, I thank You that even though I am so far away, You will always draw me back to Your arms. No matter what. I remember lots of incidents when You did that and I love it. But I don't like what I am doing with my relationship with You and You know me too well that I won't do anything about it. It's like a heartbeat going haywire. Oh Lord, what am I to do. I know what You will say. Change of character. Stop being lazy. Yes Ah Pa. I think it's time You send one of Your angels-in-disguise. Haha...oh ya. Thanks for the post for being treasurer of NPCF English side. You know how I have doubts. I wonder if I would be chosen if buddy didn't want to do it. I wonder why didn't I get a post before that. Sigh. Me being me. I guess it all shows in the past. How I am a leader to the world but not to among those who serves You. Maybe it is because of the kind of relationship as well as my knowledge of You. Maybe. I don't know. Lord, but all I am asking now is that question. Is it to be or not to be. I really want to know. I don't want to end up like before. Thank You Lord for listening. I love You. :)

Amen.

G.L.U.E.

Away

2008-02-28T23:49:00.003+08:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

I know I have been away. For way too long. I have kept myself away from you. And you know it. It's obvious, aint it? That I have become that old self again. I miss him Lord and you know it too. I can't stand it. I wanna get out of this cocoon and see the colours of my wings. I wanna know what you have in store for me. But you want me to wait and prepare myself. You know me. I am reckless. I want to break free and run with the wild horses. Oh Lord, help me. I know what you are telling me now. Help yourself you said. Lord, I want to follow you and not follow my desires but. There's always a but isnt it? Lord, I want to put it all behind. I need to forget and let go. I am making things worse and I know it. I know deep within that he is not what you have given to me but Lord, you said wait. Wait for what? Wait for you to reveal what are you plans for me or what you have in store for us? Lord, tell me. I wanna cry like a baby. He doesnt care. He doesnt even want to look my way. It's all over again isnt it? This guy and me. Lord, have your way in me. Teach me Holy Spirit to do the right things. Guide me Father to the right direction. Help me to understand the right choices that is made. Keep me within your distance not faraway. I want to be near you. Dear Heavenly Father, I love you. Thank you for listening. Amen.

G.L.U.E.

The one and only

2008-02-27T09:08:00.000+08:00

when it opened it eyes

the world is clean

no one touches it

the skies beautiful

no loud noise

to disturb its peace

how can it be

when evalution and destruction

steps in place

it is blinded by the starry night

dust and envy

blurred the young

lost ones deforms

posted on the wanted list

no one recognise them

anymore

we need labels

to identify reality

the speakers are booming

none can hear

even the slightest jilt

wont budget your door

but only one can

the mighty one

above all things

when pain creeps in

all so lost and gone

it never seemed that

there is much hope left

just only you

so much for a happy life

the world so corrupted

there wont be any chances

only one can mend it all

with an everlasting touch

just one

the electric jolt

shocked the nerves from within

will never make you the same again

overwhelming depth underneath

beating from the inside out

for all to see

none can hide the joy

if you have felt it

read between the lines

and you will understand

but if you really wanna know

just ask the almighty

G.L.U.E.